What if the key to becoming ‘expecting’, was learning to practice Positive Expectancy?

What might happen if, even in the face of all of life’s uncertainty, we chose to become more resilient and hopeful in our thinking?

In my HypnoFertility and Conception Coaching work with women hoping to become pregnant, I am often met with a sense of urgency and despair. I hear a lot of “What if’s?” “What if I never get pregnant?” “What if it’s too late?” “What if my eggs are no longer viable?” Or worse, “What if I do get pregnant and lose the baby (again)?”

For women who’ve miscarried, this last question can be particularly devastating. They have learned not to trust their bodies, and this mistrust creates an energetic frequency that tends to be incompatible with the relaxation and hope that supports fertility.

There is another body of “What if’s?” we can begin to consider and cultivate. “What if I do get pregnant?” “What if the timing of this pregnancy is perfect for me and all concerned?” “What if my eggs are just fine?” And, “What if I carry this pregnancy peacefully and successfully to term?”

It is curious to me that we hardly ever “What if?” the positive. Most of us learned as children to be afraid and negative. Our culture perpetuates and thrives on fear. Just watch the evening news, or the build-up to it: ‘Stay tuned for the next terrible thing that you should feel scared about!’

Fear is an energetic frequency. Just witness what happens in your body when you think of something dreadful. So, too, is hope. Just witness what you feel when you allow yourself to be positively expectant.

Now, consider which one might be more supportive of fertility and conception.

A wise person once said to me, “Worry is negative prayer.” It is affirming the anticipation of what we Don’t want. Conversely, I believe that faith is positive prayer. It is affirming the anticipation of what we Do want.

While it’s not particularly easy to change our minds, the imagination is powerful and can be used to practice something other than fear. We can engage it to become more hopeful and helpful. To become positively expectant and support our well being instead of undermining it. It is never too late. And what we practice becomes habit.

Here are some suggestions:

• Buy some baby clothes and other baby items that delight you.
• Pick out names, and start talking to your baby, out loud or in your mind.
• Before you go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning, imagine greeting your child with sweetness and love.
• Give your future child a nickname or term of endearment, and use it when you speak to or about your future baby.
• Get a stuffed animal that you can hold and rock, and imagine it’s your child. Allow yourself to feel all the delight you will feel when you actually hold your own beautiful baby—including your longing to do so.
• When you make love, imagine the sperm swimming strongly toward your egg and joyfully and successfully joining with it, beginning your pregnancy.
• Imagine your uterus is a lovely, warm nest, and see your baby curled and cozy and happily thriving there.
• Everyday, give thanks for the beautiful, healthy baby that is now coming into your life.
• Schedule some HypnoFertility (Hypnosis for Fertility) appointments to help you align, body, mind and soul, with bringing in your baby.
• Choose an affirmation that supports what you want. For example, “My beautiful baby is now coming to me, in just the right way, at just the right time. All is well.”
• Every time you think about your baby, smile. Smiling is powerful and pleasurably energetic, triggering a flow of positive chemicals through your entire system.

And most importantly, be patient. None of us knows what’s going to happen next, nor what the unfoldment of perfect timing might be. But, since thoughts have power, the most helpful thing you can do is begin to replace your negative thoughts and beliefs with positive actions and intentions, and cultivate your capacity to be hopeful and have faith.